Warning: The following is a true story of one man's battle with the greatest curse of all time.... The curse of the crush.
I'm accursed, at least I think so. I have the uncanny ability to turn into a complete pussy when it comes to my crushes. I don't know what it is. I mean, a majority of my friends are girls (granted, I have no feelings for these women except for maybe the occasional seductive appearance in my dreams,) but when it comes time for a crush, count me out.
For a while I was on this kick of having mini-crushes because if I never pursued, or tried for, my mini-crush(es) I didn't feel bad for not doing anything about it. You know, I didn't feel like I was letting myself down. With major crushes, if I didn't actively attempt to let the girl know that I liked her then I felt horrible and my self-esteem dropped by at least 24.68 points. For a brief moment in time I switched back to major crushes, that didn't work out as well as I had hoped.
When I do finally nut up and make a move on my crush one of two things usually happens: I get a little piece and fall head over heels without the same response or I just get denied.
On the recent heels of a successful session, I find myself at the worst point of the curse. You see I have this thing, I can't make out with a girl unless I really and genuinely like her. "That's so sweet," "Oh my gosh, how cute," and "I wish all guys were like that" are just a few of the responses I have had for my inability to close a non-committed sesh. We all know that the words of comfort I listed are just that - words of comfort, to someone these girls feel pity for.
Well, I really really like this girl. But due to the 1200 miles between us and my proficiency in the art of post-sesh pussdom, I am drawn to a conclusion that nothing will come of it. I have once again fallen victim to the curse.
Or have I? I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and rid myself of this curse that has followed me my entire life - the curse of the crush.
Stay tuned for details (stay tuned for a long time b/c I'm in Kansas City and she's in Utah.)
2 comments:
Hey Jared--Good to hear from you! Thanks for commenting on our blog!
Sorry to hear you moved to the midwest...we've been here a while (Indiana) and the summers are pretty brutal! But, we're sure you'll like it out there in Kansas City!
It's great to see you are doing well, despite your various problems with crushes.
If you're ever in Indiana, come and visit us!
Go for it Jared. Don't let the 1200 Miles stop you. Just do it! After all, we know the ladies in KC aren't looking hopeful! So go after this girl with all ya got man. I know you are a hot little stud muffin and if this girl gives you any crap send her my way- I'll give her a pregnant lady whooping like she has never seen- I can do it, I can take her- pregnant lady hormones are fierce. BTW: I like how you write- maybe you should do some writing on the side- I would buy your books. Take care in KC
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